| Married life is great...it's not that much different from our previous lives...eh-hem...except for you know what... <--wow, creepy little thing, huh? But, honestly...it's only a continuation of what we had, knowing we've "got each other's backs", and being excited about growing up together...A magic switch doesn't turn on, angelic voices don't sing, gnomes don't giggle and pop out of places, and our problems don't dissapear...It's reality. I've learned in marriage how selfish I am...I'm constantly reminded of the definitions of love, selflessness, gentleness, grace...We all know that Elizabeth ain't got a speck of gentleness in her...I was raised as a boy by a pack of wolves, Come on! I'm blunt, I hold grudges, I'm quick to anger, slow to forgive...Lord, I'm hopeless... The thing that amazes me the most, is that all of those self-restraints I enforce when dealing with others for the sake of tact, and a loving spirit...I forget to enforce when dealing with those who I love the most... Ultimately, I continue to live a double life... James 3:9-12 9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt[a] water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. It's all a heart issue...and I cannot be a loving daughter, wife, or friend, if the root of my heart is anger or bitterness...I will only continue to live this double life...as a hypocrit. Sigh...Lord, help my soul...give me a new wineskin that I may fill this heart with your new mercies, grace, and love...Help me to continue to be renewed...to love. |
